Knee Deep in Sesbian Lex feat. Eva Bloom @whatismybodydoing

This week, Cady and Sharilyn get knee deep in queer sex ed and are joined by Eva Bloom (@whatismybodydoing) — queer and trans late bloomer coach, inclusive sex educator, and host of Out in Bloom — for a cozy and frankly, charming, conversation about what it means to come into your queerness later in life, how to unlearn compulsory heterosexuality, and why sex ed should be way gayer.

Together, they unpack:

• What “queer sex ed” actually means 🌈
• Late-blooming queerness and queer imposter syndrome
• Pleasure, play, and why scissoring is very real (and very hot)
• How to flirt without feeling creepy
• Why laughter belongs in the bedroom
• D&D archetypes, sapphic book recs, and the final boss of queerness (spoiler: it’s shame)

🛠️ Resources & Links:

Eva Bloom: @whatismybodydoing | Out in Bloom Podcast | Late Bloomer Support Club

Queer 🌽 Recs: QueerCrush.com | Pink Label TV | Crash Pad Series |

Books Mentioned: Every Step She Takes by Allison Cochran | Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne - BONUS: Find Eva’s post for cozy sapphic fall reads HERE.

Follow Us:

• Instagram: @KneeDeepPodcast
• TikTok: @KneeDeepPodcast
• Cady: @ageofsexploration
• Sharilyn: @queerwomenspoetrycollective

Support Us on Patreon:

Help us keep the conversation going by supporting us on Patreon! 🖤 

Send Us Your Questions or Comments:

We love hearing from you! Got a question or a topic you’d like us to cover? Email us at kneedeepodcastmailbag@gmail.com

Thanks for tuning in, and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Cady Moore (00:26)
the ovulation of it all. Welcome to Knee Deep in the Passenger Seat, our GayDHD podcast where we take the scenic route through sex, dating, relationships, non-monogamy, queer culture, and all of the spicy stuff in between. I'm Cady sex educator, coach, and certified professional at Oversharing.

Sharilyn Wester (00:26)
You

the ovulation of it all.

Well, personally, I love your oversharing. I wish you actually over overshared. I'm Sharilyn I'm a writer. I'm a storyteller, and artist. Today we're diving into Queer Sex Ed. We're talking about late blooming queerness, building confidence in your sexuality, and we have a really, really special guest. I'm really excited about this one.

Cady Moore (01:08)
buckle up friends, Our guest is none other than Eva Bloom, a queer and trans late bloomer coach, inclusive sex ed speaker, community facilitator, and educator.

Sharilyn Wester (01:19)
In this episode, we're going to get into what queer sex ed really means, the challenges and celebrations of late blooming, the role of culture and community and identity, and because it's us, some sillies along the way.

Cady Moore (01:34)
So grab your favorite bevy and settle in. But first things first, Sharilyn, what is in your passenger seat today?

Sharilyn Wester (01:42)
Ooh, in my passenger seat today, there's a lot. I mean, I think amongst what many are feeling, a general fatigue of the current political climate and all of its implications ⁓ and trying to distract myself with gaming. So I've recently got into playing Red Dead Redemption 2 as just like...

⁓ an escape because I can get on my little horse and I can go hunting and that's been really fun. I've been really invested in D &D stuff. We have our main campaign as we've alluded to and talked about in a couple of our episodes. And I'm also starting a side campaign with a couple of our players that will be taking place around the same time. And I'm just able to really exercise some of my creativity, which has been such a great outlet for these.

these times, which are really dark for our communities. And that's been, it's been really helpful. think having an outlet like that is monumental in essentially touching grass, even though it's, you're playing within these fantasy worlds, I think the great thing about D &D is that you can exercise some control over your fate, over your lives, and over the big picture in a way that sometimes we don't always feel we can touch in our reality. ⁓

But Cady, are some of what's in your passenger seat today?

Cady Moore (02:59)
Damn, that was so real. It's funny, I'm reflecting on some of the conversations that I've had recently about control and relinquishing control and like understanding what I have control over and what I don't and all the ways in which my Taurus ass is like desperately seeking control over something. So yeah, but what is in my passenger seat today? I am feeling, so a couple months ago,

Sharilyn Wester (03:06)
Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (03:28)
I had a little mini meltdown about how I'd been feeling kind of resentful because I am a traveler. I love to travel. It's one of my favorite things. ⁓ And so many of the places that I want to travel to are places that my partners really want to go to with me. But right now, because the world is the world, they are not in a financial place to be able to go on these trips with me.

and I'm not in a financial place to pay for two people to go on a trip. And so I had just like a mini meltdown of resentment that I wasn't getting to do any of these adventures that I wanted to do. And I stopped myself in the middle of this spiral and I was like, wait, girl, you can fix this. What are some places on your list that you have been wanting to go to that you haven't been to that none of your partners have any kind of emotional attachment to where could you go? ⁓

And so I, this is a couple months ago, I booked myself a trip to Yosemite. So last week I spent three nights, four full days, because I got up super early every day in Yosemite. It was my first time there since I was like six years old. The weather was incredible. There was a winter storm on day three, which like actually cut my trip in the park short, but I was staying at a lodge and so.

I just spent that whole day bouncing between the hot tub and reading my book by the fire and playing my silly little video game. And I am someone who solo travel is so restorative because it gives me a chance to really check in with myself and engage with myself in different ways of actually listening when there is, when you do not owe anything to anyone, there is nobody who is going to be impacted.

by your decision, what does your body mind actually want to do right now in this situation? And the perfect example is on that rainy stormy day, I'd originally talked about how I was gonna spend the whole day just like lounging about and right around one o'clock I was like, I'm antsy, I need to go do something. And I was like, well, but you said that you were gonna like chill the whole day. And I was like, girl, you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do. And so I took myself on a little very cold walk. ⁓

And it was just really nice. also just being out in nature is something that is really restorative for me that I know that, but actually making the time to go do it is not always easy. And quite frankly, I don't like being around people in nature. And so finding ⁓ time to go when there aren't that many people around is really hard. So it was just really, really good and very restorative and much needed. And I came back like,

I, my Sunday scaries, ⁓ I try to leave a buffer for myself before, like I tried to not work the day after a trip, but ⁓ I didn't plan it that way for some fucking reason. And I, my Sunday scares were really bad coming back to quote reality was really, really hard. But overall, it feels like my nervous system is just very happy with the decision to do that. So yeah, so that's what's in my passenger seat is the,

Sharilyn Wester (06:41)
I

love that

Cady Moore (06:41)
is

seeing the results of what intentional time and space for myself looks like ⁓ and keeping that in mind so that we can prioritize that in the future.

Sharilyn Wester (06:55)
Absolutely.

and not even even just because it's time that like, you're not with other people, but like intentionally that it's time to reconnect with yourself. And I think one thing that's interesting that I was reading recently was how neurodivergence often prevents you from fully being present in your body in many ways, because there's so many things that come up in your brain or you're pulled

Cady Moore (07:05)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn Wester (07:21)
in a million different places or you can't focus on one thing and it's almost like your body and brain are going without you, without your ability to catch up. And so making those like intentional times to be in your body, to listen to your needs exclusively and not having to manage anyone else's feelings or emotions or time, I think is just so important and so valuable.

Cady Moore (07:31)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it was real good. And I just like, and it's interesting because you don't even realize how much time and energy you are putting into others perception of you until you stop giving a shit. Even if it's just for a little bit of time. It was very eye opening. Cause yeah, I do a lot of like, I know that I should do this. And it's like, says who? Why?

Unless it's like meditation or exercise, like whatever. I don't know. Yeah, so that was, that's what's in my passenger seat.

Sharilyn Wester (08:17)
Absolutely.

I love that! No, that was a great response. And I'm really glad and I really hope you make more of that time for yourself and hope everyone makes that time for themselves because I think it's it's really important. I found that like in my 20s, it was all about like group trips and like, you know, making time for friends and going off on places. And now in my 30s, I'm like, I just want a nook and a book and an edible. That's what that's like what I want to plan for a weekend.

Cady Moore (08:38)
Mm-hmm.

I'm easy! Yeah, hell

yeah. Dude, yeah, but ⁓ I read two full books in like four days. So yeah, it was good shit. It was good shit. ⁓ All right, well let's take a little break and we will head into our interview with Eva Bloom. So excited for y'all. You're gonna have so much fun. It's a real treat.

Sharilyn Wester (08:51)
Exactly.

Amazing. my god. I love that. So good. Fuck yeah.

Cady Moore (09:15)
And yeah, we'll see it. We'll see you in a minute.

Sharilyn Wester (09:18)
See you in a minute.

Cady Moore (09:27)
Today's guest is Eva Bloom, a queer and trans late bloomer, coach, inclusive sex ed speaker, and community facilitator with a master's in the psychology of sexuality and over a decade of teaching experience.

Eva helps folks explore their identities, build confidence, and find queer joy in both sex and relationships. Eva, welcome to the show!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (09:49)
Woohoo! I

am so freaking excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me. We made it, we're doing it.

Cady Moore (09:58)
Yeah, we it,

we did it. You're so welcome. I'm so glad you're here. Folks, it took us a couple weeks to make this happen because with the world being the state that it is, we all had a couple of mental health days where we were like, yo, I just can't get on mic right now. So I also just want to give us all a round of applause for listening to our bodies, even though the world doesn't want us to. So first things first, Eva, do you mind introducing yourself with your name and pronouns and any

Sharilyn (10:00)
We did it.

Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (10:22)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (10:27)
honorifics or identities that you want to share with us today.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (10:31)
Yeah, Eva, they them, I'm a non binary lesbian, I also use the label queer. I will use the term late bloomer to describe myself, just to describe my experience of coming out in adulthood, of not having a little gay adolescence, like couldn't be gay at college. So that's how I relate to the term late bloomer, of just waking up and being like, holy shit, I've assumed I've been into men this whole time.

Cady Moore (10:52)
Totally.

Yeah?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (11:01)
Actually, turns out, not true.

Cady Moore (11:02)
but turns out...

dude okay it's so it's so funny and I love that you're starting right off with that because we had more intro questions but that is the biggest one that I want to talk about as someone who also identifies as a late bloomer I didn't first identify as anything other than straight until I opened up my relationship and had to make a Feeld profile and I was like what

What do I put? I don't know. Girls are so pretty. And like, I'm not gay, but like I've definitely taken a bath with my friends before. ⁓ So can you describe a little bit more about what being a late bloomer means to you and how you came to like really embrace that identity and describe it for folks so that for the people who it resonates with, they can go, wow, yeah, that is me. Yeah, can you share more about that?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (11:50)
Yeah,

absolutely. I also so relate to like the queer dating app panic. I actually put my dating app settings to women before I came out because I was like, this shit is bleak. Give me some respite from the fish holding photos. There's gotta be something else out there. And then it took me another like year and a half to be like, wait, wait, wait.

Cady Moore (12:07)
you

Yeah, dude.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (12:18)
Maybe. Maybe I'm gay. I didn't just want to change my profile settings to avoid men. actually like women and people who aren't men. Wild. Wild. But yeah, in terms of my queer journey, I initially came out as bisexual because the comphet, compulsory heterosexuality,

Cady Moore (12:19)
And I'm gay.

Sharilyn (12:24)
You

Mmm.

Cady Moore (12:33)
Wild.

Knee Deep In The Passenger ... (12:46)
Okay, so quick sidebar for anyone who is not familiar with the term compulsory heterosexuality or comphet. Adrienne Rich, a feminist scholar coined it back in the 1980s to describe how our culture basically just assumes that everyone is straight unless proven otherwise. From the time that we're little, we're surrounded by stories about princes and princesses, prom kings and prom queens. All of that quietly teaches us that being straight is the default. So a lot of queer folks,

end up realizing later in life that what they thought was attraction was actually just what they were told to want. And this is not saying that everyone is secretly gay or anything like that. It's about noticing how much pressure there is to perform straightness regardless of your attraction.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (13:30)
was so strong that I just assumed that I was into men and, you know, the shame and queerphobia in the world really suppressed my attraction to women. So when I met one woman who I was like, wait, I don't think I can deny this anymore. I'm feeling romantic feelings. Yeah, I'm like, I could, I drank the Kool-Aid of like, ⁓ you know.

Cady Moore (13:46)
you

Sharilyn (13:46)
Yeah,

it's just like one person. Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (13:54)
women and people who aren't men are just like more naturally sexually fluid you can be straight and want to take baths with your friends or like And it's like it's like no no no no there are lots of women who like don't want to fuck their friends

Cady Moore (14:01)
Girls are a little gay, right? Like we all are.

And who don't like to naked with their friends and touch each other.

Sharilyn (14:12)
Absolutely and so and and Touch

Eva Bloom (they/them) (14:17)
Yeah.

Sharilyn (14:17)
each other

and like make out and and all of that so so you you had this experience where you were kind of like faced with essentially the the dating the the gender all of the binaries and you kind of literally came to crossroads and you're like I'm gonna try a little bit of this out. How else did you realize there was something more? I know you said you had experience with one person in particular

Eva Bloom (they/them) (14:30)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (14:41)
once you kind of explored that, did the world just kind of open up for you?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (14:48)
Yes and no. So it was very much like, okay, maybe this person is like kind of like an exception. Or I was like, okay, I'm still into men, but definitely this person and maybe other people. And it was like, question mark. And it was a slow roll of like five years of identifying as bi, but never feeling the urge to date a man.

Sharilyn (14:49)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, question mark?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (15:15)
I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. There were never any men that I'd met in the wild that I was like, yeah, I wanna date him. And I was like, wait, I don't think I need to wait for this mythical man who's gonna come and who I'm gonna wanna date him. I think if being a lesbian feels true for me right now and my experiences dating women and non-binary people feel so much more like...

Cady Moore (15:32)
Mm. Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (15:44)
fulfilling and like aligned and I'm like my body's doing things that like it never did when I was dating men. I'm allowed to identify as a lesbian and like realize that I'm a lesbian. So it took another five years after coming out as bi to be like, whoa, I think that I'm a lesbian. And then with that like came like an understanding that I'm non-binary with kind of unhooking from expectations or like feeling like I need to perform heteronormativity with men.

Cady Moore (16:11)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (16:14)
so yeah, it was both like, ⁓ an all at once and also a slow roll of being like, wait, is this allowed? And then it absolutely was allowed.

Cady Moore (16:23)
Yeah,

well I think that's a huge part of it and I think that often the reactions of others and the dismissal that queer folks of all varieties can experience especially in like friend groups and in circles that you've always been in and when you're like, hmm, I don't know maybe and all it takes is like one rejection.

of that exploration for you to be like, you know what, they're probably right. It's, you know, it probably isn't. Or for me, all it took was like one queer relationship that destroyed me for me to be like, you know what, why don't I just stick to what I know? Let me just, we'll just, you know, girls are scary. Maybe it's time to just like give that a break for a second. And it is, it's so windy.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (16:47)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I'm so glad that

I had that first positive experience. And also I'm very proud of myself for being brave because I went on to have two absolutely soul destroying, life destroying situations. So if that's, and you too, everybody out there, queer dating is like a level, can be a level of complicated and like,

Sharilyn (17:25)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (17:26)
Ugh, you're so brave!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (17:41)
can mean so much more, like in terms of hanging your identity on like, if this works, like what does this mean for me? Or like, it being one of the first places where you feel like you can be your whole self or like explore elements of yourself, that it can be so intense. So, and so vulnerable so that when it like doesn't work or when there's like hurt or betrayal, like it can cut so much deeper, so.

Cady Moore (17:44)
Mm, mm-hmm.

And so vulnerable. Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (18:09)
I know, if you're going through that, just know that it's gonna be okay and not all queer dating experiences are like that. And it's worth it to keep showing up and keep being your full self and yeah.

Sharilyn (18:20)
Yeah.

your authentic self. And I think there's something really interesting too about ⁓ the heteronormative scripting that we're given as, you know, queer folks or from a young age where I found for me in a lot of breakups with men, it's been very easy to default on the like, AFAB or like femme centered perspective of like, he's just a trash man, like, fuck him. Like, I, you know, men are all trash, whatever. But with queer breakups, it's like,

Eva Bloom (they/them) (18:27)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (18:55)
She was a beautiful sparkly flower and she's not trash because she's not a man and like ⁓ wait, but I still really like her but she doesn't like and it's like it almost felt in at least in my experience more devastating because it was almost like the safety that heteronormativity gave me in moving on from those relationships was not a script I was familiar with when it came to queer relationships like you said that hit so much deeper that

Eva Bloom (they/them) (19:01)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (19:01)
Yeah!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (19:05)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (19:24)
that ⁓ your identity feels a little more invested in than with the heteronormative script. And so I know a lot of this has informed some of the work you do, if you wouldn't mind sharing some of what that is.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (19:28)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so right now I'm really supporting people in this kind of emergent identity phase of their life, whether that's realizing like, my gosh, like, I'm bisexual, I've been like married to a man for X number of years, I'm also super fucking gay, and like how to explore that, or realizing that like you are a lesbian and like you aren't actually attracted to men.

Sharilyn (19:57)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (19:57)
Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (20:04)
Um, especially working with people in their thirties and forties who, know, there isn't a lot of representation or community for what that looks like when you're so established in so many other areas of your life and simultaneously a beginner at this and like feeling so new and like discovering, you know, so much of your life and personality is like getting explored as an adult. So that's, that's where I'm working with people right now.

Sharilyn (20:31)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (20:34)
Well, and I think there's, I'm so glad that you work specifically with late bloomers because one thing that I have, I've coached some people through, but really I've faced a lot of my own, really this is more of like a personal queer imposter syndrome situation where I do feel like the queer community understandably can  feel very like gatekeep-y.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (20:59)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (21:00)
And very much like we need to protect our community. And so if you're not queer enough, like don't, don't even try. And for what it's worth, that has been far less of my experiences than the like everyone is welcome experiences. But when you're dating and you're already feeling like you're just stumbling your way through and like you're a big old faker, the minute that you meet one person who's like,

Eva Bloom (they/them) (21:05)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (21:25)
Oh, well, because you have sex with men, I don't want to even go on a date with you. It's like, oof. Okay. And that that makes the whole journey feel even more fraught. And so I'm just I'm so glad that you exist as a resource for people and are creating active community for people while they're in this very like fragile place. And and you're absolutely right. This fragile place where you're like, I'm 33.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (21:31)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (21:51)
supposed to be that bitch right now. I am supposed to be confident and feeling good and powerful and strong. And then there's this crucial part of my identity where I'm like, I'm just a baby. I'm just a girl. I can't do this.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (22:05)
Yes, you're like, okay

simultaneously am a bad bitch and also a baby and you're like I mean I think it can be helpful to be like there are lots of other different life transitions were put that put people in that space like new parents You're like I am a bad bitch. I know a lot about this world and also I'm a baby with a baby. I don't know like

Cady Moore (22:10)
Mhm.

So true!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (22:30)
Yeah,

or like, you know, if you're getting divorced, like whether that's like related to your, like not related to your queerness, that can be a whole new like life transition and can feel very overwhelming. Yes, absolutely. So that's not to say that like it's not hard, but I think like, I don't know, we have this very linear idea of what life is supposed to look like, but in reality,

Cady Moore (22:33)
Well...

Menopause is a transition.

I'm

⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (22:56)
most of us have these like multiple evolutions or beginnings. ⁓ And there's nothing wrong with being a beginner. ⁓ But yes, it can be like a very tender part. And I think like, in that moment, having as much community that is everyone is welcome, and that is like, has a recognition of fluidity, has a recognition of, you know, experiences beyond the binary.

Cady Moore (23:02)
So true.

Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (23:24)
I truly am happy to stand up here and just like yell about bisexual lesbian solidarity every fucking day of my life. Like...

Cady Moore (23:31)
You make so much content about it and I love it. I love it

Sharilyn (23:31)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (23:35)
so much because it just it's so needed. I mean I I had a relationship with a lesbian once who like when we first started engaging and relating the number of times that they like jokingly referred to me as straight because at the time my two primary relationships were with men.

Sharilyn (23:35)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (23:57)
And I, and I sort of, had to stop her multiple times and thankfully like she was super open to it. She just, mean, like is of a generation where that is her experience. But I, but I multiple times was like, you are erasing my identity. Every time you make that joke, I know you think you're joking, but it makes me feel like you don't see me as a valid person. Like full stop. That's just what it makes me feel. And I think there's also some like,

Eva Bloom (they/them) (24:07)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (24:23)
some pushback about the concept of like queerness like this the same person is like I Referred to one of their friends. I was like, are they queer and she just looked at me and she was like, baby We don't have that there aren't queers. They are lesbians and I'm like, okay All right, it's I mean and it's all an education like and every time I push back there's been like they've been very receptive to it But I will say that everything you're describing when you were talking about all these different

Eva Bloom (they/them) (24:28)
Mm-hmm.

Damn. Yeah.

Cady Moore (24:49)
these different transition moments and time not being linear and our life not being linear just reminds me of the queerness of it all. And that one of the things that I love most about being queer and having a queer identity is the deep-seated knowledge that I don't have to pick. The binaries don't have to exist for me. I can be wherever I want on any spectrum at any time and that can be okay. Even if other people don't get it, that doesn't invalidate it.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (24:56)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (25:18)
So like when I'm in my follicular phase and ovulating, that's very strong and very safe. It's the rest of the 10 days of my cycle that I'm like, ooh. ⁓ But.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (25:18)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

it is both ⁓ a superpower and also having to live in the world where people are constantly being like, but binaries, but boxes, but make yourself palatable. And I just have so much love for bi and pan folks who literally live that expansiveness every day and just the resilience to be like,

Cady Moore (25:47)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (25:58)
Yeah, motherfucker. This is what we're doing. I do what I want. This is it, yeah.

Cady Moore (26:00)
I do what I want. I do what I want.

Sharilyn (26:02)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (26:05)
It's 2025 and the world is falling apart. I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want. you know, within reason, let's not cause harm to other people. ⁓ like, what are you doing? Why not? Like, there's so many cuties to kiss. What do you mean? ⁓ So let's, ⁓ let's take a quick break.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (26:09)
Yeah.

Sharilyn (26:12)
Absolutely.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (26:13)
But is 2025 you're like not kissing people of all genders? I don't know man. Yeah.

Sharilyn (26:19)
Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (26:22)
That's true.

Sharilyn (26:23)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (26:27)
before diving into our next topic, because there's also a whole other side of your professional world that we want to nerd out about today. So let's take a really quick break and then we will come right back.

Sharilyn (26:48)
Saying you're gonna spice up pink with lavender is the gayest thing I've ever heard. Like...

Eva Bloom (they/them) (26:54)
What if we add a little

Sharilyn (26:56)
Yeah,

what if I go a little crazy and do also pastel blue perhaps?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (27:01)
Hehehehehe

Sharilyn (27:06)
You just need blue and then you'll have the bi flag

Cady Moore (27:12)
So true, a pastel bi flag is honestly so cunty. love it. ⁓ All right,

Sharilyn (27:14)
Yup.

It's a vibe.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (27:17)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (27:21)
welcome back folks. So Eva, in addition to your Late Bloomer content and coaching, you also talk a lot about sex ed and queer sex ed. And that is really like what I brought you here today to talk about because I love nerding out about queer sex ed.

And I love talking to other people who are doing this work. can you please in your words describe what is queer sex ed? What is it?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (27:49)
Oh my gosh, great question.

⁓ I would say that queer sex ed is sex ed that looks beyond and interrogates cis hetero scripts and norms about sexuality and approaches sex ed in a way that is combating shame and is centering pleasure and authenticity.

Cady Moore (28:12)
Thank

Hell yeah, perfect, I love it. ⁓ I think the only thing I ever add is like decentering penetration as like the primary, and specifically like P in the V sex and like decentering that and like taking some of the scare tactic-y like, no, STIs and babies and it's like, no, let's talk about the rest of what our body does that's magic. ⁓

Sharilyn (28:18)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (28:22)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Cady Moore (28:41)
And I love that your approach is specifically a pleasure-centered and shame-free approach. Can you talk more about what that looks like in practice? Like when you show up to talk about sex ed to a room full of students, what does pleasure-centered and shame-free sex ed look and sound like?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (28:54)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, in terms of shame-free, I very much try to position everything in terms of options, breaking down this hierarchy or that there's different types of sex that's better or worse or that different types of sex is like, don't know, what do you say, like icky or like, oh, that's more intense versus other. I talk to so—

Cady Moore (29:24)
Hehehe!

Mm-hmm. Like somehow like

anal is the big bad sex and it's like... girl.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (29:31)
Yeah. Or even like,

I talk to so many 18 year olds who have learned a lot about sex from Tumblr, but or like maybe, ⁓ wow, I just caught myself being like, this is my own, this is my own like shame and stuff that I feel sad that maybe I didn't get access to that education. ⁓ It's amazing that 18 year olds like have access to like kink education.

Cady Moore (29:39)
Uggh

Okay.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (29:56)
so

young, but I do, walk into so many rooms and people who are like, I know what aftercare is, like, I know about like, I want to be having kinky sex, like that is what matters to me. And it's like, yeah, there's like this assumption that different populations are into different things and that like, you know, BDSM is like inherently like dangerous or like isn't something that should be talked about. So really like presenting.

Cady Moore (30:20)
Oh, I know.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (30:25)
all options and empowering folks to be whatever you're into. ⁓ So long as you have communication tools and care for your partner, that is amazing. And being like, okay, how do we make your experiences as pleasurable as possible, as connected as possible, creating the relationship dynamics that you want?

Cady Moore (30:48)
Totally.

Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (30:54)
Yeah, not from a place of like, let's avoid the scary bad stuff. It's like, how do we move towards stuff that feels good?

Cady Moore (30:57)
Yeah, like how do we create

an environment in which we can simultaneously accept that sex can be a source of harm and also a source of joy? And like, how do we teach the tools and resilience to navigate the harmful parts while also not letting that prevent us from accessing the joy? And I think so often it's easy to just opt for one or the other instead of allowing that both of them exist. ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (31:06)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (31:25)
I love that

bought a BDSM though, because I feel like that's something you've got, you've got two kinky girls on the pod with you today. And that is something like when I was creating my first sex ed curricula, or my first queer sex ed curriculum, like, I really struggled because I feel like no queer sex ed conversation is complete without at least a slide on BDSM and kink. Like we have to be talking about this. And also like,

Eva Bloom (they/them) (31:32)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I agree. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (31:55)
there's, how do you fit it all in just like one slide? And so is this opening a Pandora's box of sorts? ⁓ And so I kept the slide in there and also was like, we can't talk about this today, this is a whole separate class, but here are like four resources that you can go to because the connection and the tie between BDSM and the queer community is so, it's not a circle, like the Venn diagram is not a circle, but sometimes it feels that way. ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (32:01)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. I think too, like...

Cady Moore (32:24)
You

Sharilyn (32:26)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (32:29)
There is so much assumed power play in heterodynamics. Like, hetero scripts are assuming that people are playing with power, or assuming that there is a specific power dynamic. So I think it's important and like an essential part of queer sex ed to be like, let's do that intentionally. Like one, you don't have to play with power. That doesn't have to be part of your sexual experience.

Cady Moore (32:34)
Mmm.

Yeah, totally.

It's...

Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (32:57)
And if you do want to do that, if that does feel erotic, like, let's talk about how to make that happen in like a fun and like consent-focused way.

Sharilyn (33:09)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (33:09)
Yeah, totally.

I cannot count on one hand how many times I have had a cis dude say that they want someone to be dominant in the bedroom. And then when I start to do kink-style negotiation, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no, I don't want anything kinky. I just don't want to be in charge. And I'm like, oh, what? Why did you assume that you were going to be in charge, bro? Have you met me?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (33:32)
⁓

Cady Moore (33:36)
Do you even know me? Like you're never gonna be in charge. But it's so assumed. It's such an assumed part of cis-het sex that the man is in charge and they are the ones who have to, they have to know the run of show. They have to be able to keep tabs of everything. And it's like, that is so much pressure, my dude. Why do you want all that? Why not share that? Sharilyn did you have something to add? Cause I feel like I saw you, I saw you trying to say a thing and I talked over you.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (33:36)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Sharilyn (33:37)
Thank

Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (33:44)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Sharilyn (34:06)
That's okay. ⁓ I think it's really interesting when you bring up a lot of the scripting that comes from heteronormative sexual experiences to queer experiences. And I was interested in some of your insight and experience. What are some of the, kind of like the misconception Cady had where suddenly introducing this non-hetero ⁓ aspect of negotiation when it comes to sex was

Eva Bloom (they/them) (34:34)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (34:34)
kind of taken in the wrong way. In your experience, what are some of the bigger misconceptions ⁓ that people have around queer sex? So I mean, some people might think, you of course we always hear of, you know, if you look at two lesbians, like who's the top and who's the bottom or like scissoring. ⁓ So what are some of other of misconceptions that are easily dispelled when it comes to what people think of queer sex or what it might look like?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (34:36)
Mm-hmm.

.

Cady Moore (34:48)
Scissoring!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (34:50)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, think, yeah, the two examples that you just brought up. Yeah, I think it's really people trying to put on like a hetero lens or framework on to lesbian dynamics and it doesn't work. So yeah, this whole, like, it doesn't work. Maybe, but yeah, who's the man? There's no man. That's the whole point. Like, no. ⁓

Cady Moore (35:08)
I'm through.

Sharilyn (35:12)
doesn't work yeah literally doesn't fit like necessarily maybe right

Cady Moore (35:22)
Okay, no one in our bedroom

Sharilyn (35:25)
This is actually specifically a man-free zone.

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who's the man waiting outside? I don't know. Driving my Uber. He's going to get here in like 20 minutes. Yeah. That's the man in this relationship. Yeah.

Cady Moore (35:28)
On purpose!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (35:28)
You read the sign?

Cady Moore (35:33)
I was just gonna say bringing me my door dash! ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (35:41)
Absolutely. Shout out to

all the Ubers who have listened to me and my girlfriend talk about the gayest shit. I always, I'm like nervous. I'm like, what if they're homophobic? And she's like, so this drag queen just like pulling up. And I'm like, I love you. Say it louder. But yeah, this idea of like top or bottom ⁓ when it's like, for one, lots of people are taking turns. like, that's

Cady Moore (35:52)
YES!

Sharilyn (35:53)
Yeah... Yeah...

Absolutely.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (36:09)
super possible people, again this idea that there needs, you know, that top or bottom, that we equate giving and receiving with these power dynamics. So if you're like giving then you need to be dominant, if you're receiving you need to be submissive and that that always exists. When it's like, no, like some, you know, some people want to be doing both giving and receiving, some people don't want to play with power, ⁓ also, you know.

The feminine person can be the more dominant one, like the masculine, like queer partner can be the more submissive one. There's so many more configurations, like, than we think.

Sharilyn (36:47)
Absolutely.

Cady Moore (36:48)
Yeah, I joke.

I joke with one of my partners. ⁓ Six foot four, AMAB looks like beefy dude. And I always tell, I tell him, I'm like, we have the queerest fucking sex. Like our sex is so gay and you don't even realize it. And then I start pointing out all of the ways that our sex is so queer. And he's like, you know what? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. And he was like, I'm, that's always how I've liked it. And I'm like,

Sharilyn (37:14)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (37:17)
See, I knew you were a little gay. I knew it! Haha! Got him!

Sharilyn (37:20)
You

Eva Bloom (they/them) (37:22)
I love that

so much.

Sharilyn (37:25)
you

Cady Moore (37:26)
Okay, can we talk about scissoring though? Because I feel okay, I want to tell an embarrassing story. All right. I for the longest time thought that scissoring was made up. Like I thought it was fake. I thought it was just a thing that people joked about like truly until like after I had already come out as queer and someone I remember who was someone on the internet was like

Eva Bloom (they/them) (37:29)
Yes, yes.

Sharilyn (37:30)
Yes, please.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (37:40)
Hmm.

Cady Moore (37:52)
Scissoring is absolutely a thing and it's really hot and really fun. And I felt so dumb and also like a bad gay and like a bad sex educator. I was like, what do you mean scissoring is real? I thought this was made up for men. And I learned it was real. And so that's why I wanna talk about it.

Sharilyn (37:56)
It's amazing.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (38:03)
it.

We have to spread the good news! We have to let the people know!

Cady Moore (38:15)
The good news! The scissoring

Sharilyn (38:15)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (38:17)
is real! Yeah! I love it! Don't be sorry, it's perfect.

Sharilyn (38:18)
We all have to spread! Sorry.

⁓ But I

Eva Bloom (they/them) (38:24)
Perfect, No.

Sharilyn (38:27)
think that's also a really good point because I think there's... And this other question we have for you, is how do media, erotica, and representation shape our understanding of queer pleasure? There's a lot of gaps, obviously, ⁓ where we talk about scissoring is this kind of like mythical unicorn, like this...

Eva Bloom (they/them) (38:38)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (38:46)
almost like kind of like inside joke and then you find it's not an inside joke and you're like, wait, I'm an educator and like, how do I not know about this? ⁓ So how do media and erotica and representation ⁓ shape our understanding of queer pleasure? And obviously this ⁓ precedes the statement that obviously your work is so necessary in educating people about queer sex ed. But how do these things shape our understanding?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (38:46)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (39:08)
True.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (39:12)
Totally. mean, when you look up lesbian, all those search results are porn. Like, if you're trying to figure out your identity or understand how, like, sapphic sex works, so much of the most easily accessible material is created, like, by men for the male gaze. ⁓ So people, like, it's... you don't know. And even when you think about, like, movies or, like, mainstream media, like...

Cady Moore (39:16)
mhm ⁓

Sharilyn (39:16)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (39:31)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (39:42)
shit gets slapped with like a more intense like television rating if there's cunnilingus in it like as opposed to other types of sex so the idea of like showing lesbian sex in authentic ways in movies is still so new I'm trying to think of like ⁓ I haven't seen Love Lies Bleeding yet but I hear that there's a lot of gay sex in that so

Cady Moore (39:46)
⁓ okay.

Sharilyn (40:01)
do really want to

Cady Moore (40:01)
You

Sharilyn (40:01)
see

that. Is that with Kristen Stewart in it?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (40:04)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (40:07)
Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about the Holy Spirit. Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (40:08)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (40:09)
Speaking of speaking

of queer crushes

Eva Bloom (they/them) (40:14)
I know, I

was like, my god, it's a thriller, it's scary. And then my girlfriend was like, but they do fuck. And I'm like, okay, I'll be brave. Yeah, absolutely, exactly. And then do a little, yeah.

Cady Moore (40:21)
I don't- I can- Just peeking through your fingers. I'm just- I'm just

Sharilyn (40:21)
Yeah, I'll do this and then I'll-

Cady Moore (40:31)
gonna tell- tell me when it's the good part, okay?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (40:33)
Yeah, exactly.

Sharilyn (40:34)
Exactly.

Yeah, I do think it's really interesting though, especially when you talk about like, you know, the porn that is produced, that is, you know, women centered, but it not for like women's pleasure necessarily. I know for me, and like my experience as a baby queer back in like my early teens when I discovered pornography, to get to like anything I wanted that I felt was authentic was like, I was having to almost go through so many loopholes just to find

Eva Bloom (they/them) (40:35)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (41:01)
Like what I was actually looking for because yeah when you type in like lesbian porn It's all you know, a lot of it is manufactured for the male gaze. But for me, I was having to get creative I was like homemade ⁓ dyke scissoring real in love

Eva Bloom (they/them) (41:01)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (41:15)
ooooh sweet baby!

Sharilyn (41:18)
Dykes

Eva Bloom (they/them) (41:18)
Yum.

Sharilyn (41:18)
in

love, scissoring, homemade, authentic, and like my search bar was becoming like a paragraph just trying to narrow it down and like get out of the fucking forest that is like these like perfectly shot which like if that floats your boat that's fine but for me I was like like I'm looking at lesbian porn and I'm on page 20 on Pornhub and I still haven't found what I'm looking for like my god like clearly this is like there's inequality of access for authentically queer people looking for like

Cady Moore (41:22)
No!

You

Eva Bloom (they/them) (41:43)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (41:47)
queer representation and whatnot. What are some other gaps that you still see a queerness ⁓ or queer sex not represented?

Cady Moore (41:59)
And just a quick note, we'll put some recommendations in the show notes for where you can go to get good queer porn. yeah, without typing a paragraph, we'll... ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (41:59)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (42:08)
without typing a paragraph. Horny! Lesbians! Scissoring! Authentic! In love! Deeply! Roommates! Like, this is fucking crazy.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (42:08)
Yes!

holding that so close to my heart. That has made my day. ⁓ I

know I like need to shout queer, I think it's queercrush.com. always miss, I I.

Cady Moore (42:27)
Yeah, Queer

Crush, Pink Label TV is another good one. ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (42:32)
Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking I

need to actually get on the affiliate link for QueerCrush.com because I'm out here trying to get every- yes! So it's produced by sapphics, it's like all sapphic creators, ⁓ like diverse, like trans sapphics, like non-binary people, some of the- there are some- there's one where it's like two wives, so if we want in love-

Cady Moore (42:55)
In love, authentic, boom!

Sharilyn (42:57)
In love, authentic

Eva Bloom (they/them) (42:58)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (42:59)
roommates forever! Romantic, scissoring, hardcore! Like...

Eva Bloom (they/them) (43:01)
Yeah. Let me see if I can... Yeah. So yeah, Queer Crush was like, I wish, like what I had found of like actually like sapphic people actually having like real sapphic sex. that, yeah. ⁓ Yeah, I think in terms of when we were talking about like scissoring too, I feel like part of it is...

Cady Moore (43:01)
You ⁓

Sharilyn (43:14)
Great!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (43:25)
Like the heteros trying to be like, okay, so PIV is like the one and that's the real sex act. So what's the real sex act for like lesbians? Is it like, is it scissoring or is it like strap-ons where it's like, actually there is really no like hierarchy. Yeah, there's no one real sex act. Like there is much more of a fluidity of sensuality and of sexuality that like whatever you feel like you wanna do that day.

Cady Moore (43:44)
Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (43:54)
Like that's what you're doing.

Cady Moore (43:54)
Totally. well

and it invites you to listen to your body so much more I think because you really get to be like wow when there are so many options ahead of me what do I want? Like what do I want today? Do I want just a hot and heavy makeout where I get to like grind on your thigh for a while and then like maybe one of us gets off maybe we don't maybe we just stop it there like that's still sex and it is still

Eva Bloom (they/them) (44:00)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Sharilyn (44:08)
Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (44:12)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (44:16)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Cady Moore (44:22)
intimacy and it is still

Sharilyn (44:23)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (44:23)
maintaining this like spark and this connection that we have and it's worth celebrating that ⁓ and and really decentering I think it also like decenters orgasm as a goal which is also really important when it comes to pleasure centered shame-free sex that's something that I come across in in what I teach all the time is like really the act of decentering the orgasm as the sign of quote-unquote successful sex but it's like no

Sharilyn (44:26)
Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (44:26)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (44:30)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (44:34)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (44:51)
Successful sex is sex that feels good for both people involved. That's it. Full stop. ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (44:54)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (44:56)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (44:58)
100%.

Sharilyn (44:58)
I do think that's really interesting though too because like so much of like what we're taught with heteronormative sex is sex is done when the man comes. So if you don't have a man coming, when does it end? It doesn't have to. You can keep going. You can take breaks forever.

Cady Moore (44:59)
Deeply relatable.

Mmm, delicious.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (45:08)
Yeah. ⁓

Cady Moore (45:14)
FOREVER! NEVER! We're

Eva Bloom (they/them) (45:15)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (45:17)
actually fucking all the time, we're just taking extended breaks to like, you know, work and fill up our waters and make dinner.

Sharilyn (45:20)
Exactly.

to rezip our human

skin and go out into the world and then come back and toy a little sex bubble.

Cady Moore (45:28)
And actually we've

we've been active we've just been fucking the whole time. It's just it's just it's just a long break. ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (45:34)
That has actually blown my mind. That

is a reframe. I'm seeing shapes and colors. I love that. I know, but I feel like, yes, I feel like so much of my journey to sex education was around orgasm advocacy in a hetero context of like, if you want to come, it's not weird if you don't want to come. Your experience should not just be centered on your boyfriend.

Cady Moore (45:40)
Happy to help!

Mm-hmm.

Yeah!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (46:02)
having an orgasm, and then moving all the way into a sapphic space where it's like, yeah, we've learned, we know how to make each other come, we know how to make ourselves come, and we can put that to the side now that we know that that's possible to focus more on pleasure as a larger concept as opposed to chasing this one thing, which is really just one small piece of a larger mosaic.

Cady Moore (46:02)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (46:30)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (46:31)
100 % well and I think that that also like touches on the narrative of like this idea that ⁓ lesbian sex like there has to be multiple orgasms like that like if you're if you're not making your partner cum multiple times then like you're not having good sex and it's and it's so interesting the way that like that comphet influences queer sex because like that's toxic masculinity shit right there.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (46:43)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah! Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (46:58)
Like that is coming from a position

of like conquest and like I need to have accomplished this thing. And it's like, I mean, it's okay. You don't have to measure yourself compared to anyone. Like what? I don't know. I think...

Eva Bloom (they/them) (47:02)
Mm-hmm.

No, I

agree. And also like you don't always have time for like the time that it takes to...

Cady Moore (47:21)
True

Sharilyn (47:22)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (47:23)
that.

True that. And not everybody wants a Quickie.

Sharilyn (47:27)
Well, and I think like one thing that I've found personally in like my own queer experiences is that like my queer experiences are so much more encouraging of play in sex. I find in straight relationships often it's like, we're making out. you got a boner. Now we're going to go take care of that. And then sex is done when you come. And with my queer like in relationships that I've had, it's so much more focused on play and like, ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (47:38)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (47:38)
Mmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (47:48)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (47:57)
Like, you take out your suitcase full of toys, and I'll take out my suitcase full of toys, and compare and like you have the new Nimbus 2000 I want to use that on me and like you know and like you're both are like screaming having a good time and sorry for everyone that was probably really loud in your ears that was me mimicking a vibrator noise but it's so much more like oh we have all these you know toys in the toolbox or even if you're you know you don't play with toys you're like oh let's

Eva Bloom (they/them) (48:00)
Yes.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (48:14)
you

Eva Bloom (they/them) (48:23)
Hmm.

Sharilyn (48:24)
Let's play, let's figure out what feels good. like, it's just so much more centered in like joy and play and lightness that I found than it is in this like, ⁓ boner patrol, he's hard, time to hop, you know, like time to take care of this, you know what I mean? And it's like, you know, because, know, the, the, the queer or like the, the non-queer, like the hetero, like if you don't take care of it, he's going to get.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (48:26)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (48:51)
blue balls as we all know that's like a bullshit but yeah so I find like so many of those things that you guys are saying is resonating with me as well and just play is great and bring out your suitcases or your trolleys full of toys which Cady probably has yeah

Eva Bloom (they/them) (48:52)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (49:06)
your trolleys or your over

the door shoe rack that I don't know is visible. Oh my door's open so you can't actually see it but the back of my door I have a shoe rack full of toys that because object permanence because when they lived under my bed I forgot I have them and I was like girl you have so many sex toys you need to be able to see these so that you can go look and be like hmm what do we want to play with today? Oh we haven't used this one in a while let's remind ourselves.

Sharilyn (49:10)
Or, yeah... Just unroll it! Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Y-

Eva Bloom (they/them) (49:35)
That's so true. I have I have like a little book Shelf situation, and I don't use so many of them because I just forget that they're there

Cady Moore (49:43)
Well, and if you have your tried

and true, like I'm a Hitachi girly through and through. So I'm like, if I know what works, but that's where that's where the play comes in. Right. And that's, and that's all about like reframing and, really starting to, and, know, want a tangent too far. But like, that's one thing that I personally have been really struggling with is like with the, the state of the world, what it is, like getting myself to a point where my nervous system is regulated enough for me to want to play and not just like "git 'er done" is, ⁓ has been.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (49:46)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (49:52)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (49:53)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (50:10)
Yeah

Cady Moore (50:12)
tough, but we're working on it. We're actively practicing making everything more playful now because it's like, God, well, if we're going to be stuck like this for a couple years, like I'm not going to have like mediocre sex for the next couple of Um, like I can't, I won't, I can't do it. Um, I

Sharilyn (50:16)
You

Eva Bloom (they/them) (50:27)
No. Yeah. No. Being able to play

is such an important resource for our brains and our communities. It's... Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (50:36)
Yes.

Cady Moore (50:39)
and our wellbeing.

Sharilyn (50:40)
my gosh, communities is so right, absolutely.

Cady Moore (50:44)
And

so I wanted to ask if you, and this will kind of transition ⁓ into getting more advice for late bloomers, but for folks who are new to queer sex, what advice do you have for people having queer sex for the first time?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (51:02)
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited for you. Get ready, get ready for the ride of your life.

Cady Moore (51:06)
Yeah, this is just Eva's advice corner

Sharilyn (51:07)
I'm so ready!

Cady Moore (51:08)
now for the next 20 minutes. So get ready, get ready.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (51:13)
Aw, no, that's my advice, to get ready for so much excitement and happiness for you. ⁓ But I think one of the things I feel like I talk to so many people who put so much pressure on their first queer sexual experiences in terms of identity development of it being like, okay, I'm like, I need this experience to go well to confirm that I'm queer. And I would just say like, release that.

expectation or pressure from yourself and know that sex is just like anything. Like it's gonna be awkward, it's gonna be like silly, you're gonna be learning that like, you know, sometimes sex is just fine. Sometimes like you do have that magical like, you know, butterflies and explosions like, yeah. So really just letting yourself chill and explore. ⁓

That would be like my number one advice. And then also, just...

Sharilyn (52:10)
Just chill out.

Cady Moore (52:13)
Just ⁓

Eva Bloom (they/them) (52:15)
Take a breath.

Sharilyn (52:15)
Chill out and don't put too

much on yourself. Yeah, cause like you said, there's so much identity in it and that's really scary when this feels sometimes like a litmus test for how queer you get to call yourself based on how much you enjoy it. And like you said, it's just like anything, like it's going to be a relational experience between two people and that doesn't define you, it just defines this new unit that you have together.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (52:21)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, totally. Yeah, and there are so many different factors that can influence how the experience is. ⁓ But yeah, my other advice would to, I'm like, it is gonna be more intuitive than you think it is. And also if you've had like, hetero experiences of sex, you do have some knowledge of sex going into this experience. It's not gonna be.

Cady Moore (52:59)
Mmm.

Yeah

Sharilyn (53:10)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (53:10)
my gosh,

like so new, like, you know, make out with people. if we think of like literally like anatomically, you know, the head of the clit and the head of the penis are like anatomical, like homologues, Yeah.

Cady Moore (53:24)
love it. That's one of my favorite. I have a picture that I use in all my queer sex ed classes where I'm like,

I have to share this picture with you so that you can see just how homologous these two organs are and blow your mind that like, mean, I'm not saying that it's going to be the same because every body is different. Like it's not going to be the same for anyone ever, but like, do just try what you try on this, on this and see what happens.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (53:36)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely, do a little, you know,

give a little tiny blowjob on the clit It's, it's,

Cady Moore (53:55)
Hehehehehe!

Sharilyn (53:56)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (53:58)
⁓ Sorry, I'm just it's so true, but I'm just like I'm honestly what I pictured was like a little like mini person and then I was like that doesn't make any sense That's fine. My brain does weird shit, man

Sharilyn (54:10)
Yeah

Eva Bloom (they/them) (54:15)
I love that. But yeah, like I think there is, yeah, it's going to be more intuitive and less scary than you think it's going to be.

Cady Moore (54:25)
And I think that some of the best, at least to me, I love laughing during sex. Like, I like when sex is silly because it is. Bodies make weird noises, feet cramp, like bodies just body and they're gonna do what they're gonna do. And so I think that letting go of some of the pressure that like, this has to be like smooth and cool and like, and sexy all the time. It's like, no, the point is play. The point is that you are

Eva Bloom (they/them) (54:31)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (54:55)
playing and having fun together. Which, so, okay, you know what, instead of, let's take a quick break, because I feel like my next question is another advice question. So let's take a quick break and we will come right back.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (54:57)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Cady Moore (55:20)
Welcome back everyone. So before we dive into some sillies, we want to make sure that we're really taking advantage of Eva being here and get some more advice. So for folks who are just starting to explore their queer identity or their desires, what are a few concrete steps or practices that you would recommend to them?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (55:40)
Ooh, in terms of starting to explore queer desires. one of the huge ones I always recommend, books. Especially like we were talking about, there's so little representation of happy endings for sapphic people. Or even describing what does a crush feel like? What does it feel like to enter a relationship and navigate a queer relationship? So I think that can be really healing and also, you know.

Cady Moore (55:57)
and

Eva Bloom (they/them) (56:09)
can help you be like, that is what it could be like to exist in that kind of dynamic. If you don't have that imagination for what it could feel like. Yeah, and a lot of books, you watch characters go through affirming their own queer identity, and that can be very affirming for you as well.

Cady Moore (56:24)
Mm-mm.

If you have any sapphic romance recommendations, we'll throw those in the show notes too, because I screenshotted all of them. I'm so excited. I can't wait to go to the library. ⁓

Sharilyn (56:33)
Mm-hmm. I saw your Instagram post about them. I was creeping earlier and I was like, yeah

Eva Bloom (they/them) (56:40)
Yes! I'm-

Sharilyn (56:42)
I love that.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (56:43)
I literally started one now that I need to- I'm like, I need to recommend this to all my clients. I think it's called Every Step She Takes by Allison Cochran. And it is- it is literally like, she's in- she's 35, she thinks she might be a lesbian but like has never queer dated before ever. Um, and it's- yeah. I know, I'm really- I'm excited.

Cady Moore (57:02)
Cuties!

I'm so glad that that's the first thing that you recommended because over summer I started to feel like I've just felt so overwhelmed that I don't have time to date right now and I'm feeling ready to like dive back into queer dating but I just haven't had the capacity and so I was like making a list of queer affirming experiences that I could be giving myself when I don't have capacity to date and that was the first thing I'm like

Eva Bloom (they/them) (57:16)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (57:28)
Okay, why am I out here binge reading these cis-het romance novels when there's so many sapphic ones out there? Like, let's switch this shit up. Let's switch it up. ⁓ And so I got to read like a whole little series and I was like, this, okay, this is just like one little thing that I can do to like affirm my identity and be immersed in queer experience even without actually physically having the experience myself. ⁓ What about for queer dating?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (57:36)
Mm-hmm. I love that.

Sharilyn (57:37)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (57:55)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (57:57)
for folks, know this is such a complicated question because queer dating can feel so overwhelming, but ⁓ yeah, what is some advice that you have to folks who are new to queer dating?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (57:59)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, my advice for queer dating is maybe gonna sound counterintuitive, but I think that the ju- if you're like used to using dating apps for queer dating, er, for dating, like going from men to like queer dating can feel very jarring. Just in terms of like the numbers, there are way less queer people, the way that the dynamics work, you're gonna get a lot less messages, like depending on where you live.

Cady Moore (58:18)
haha

Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (58:40)
It can feel very disheartening. So what I found that actually for more of my clients like feels good and like is filling the cup. And I think also actually what works better is to get out there and to start, you know, finding queer spaces that are aligned with stuff you already like, like queer D and D spaces or like, you know, queer crochet club, queer walking club. And honestly, I think it's more effective.

Cady Moore (59:04)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (59:09)
to center in that experience, trying to make new friends and make connections and flirt and build your network first, as opposed to putting on pressure being like, I'm looking for the love of my life. ⁓ I think how queer dating works is that it's more of like, okay, it's gonna be through a friend of a friend or in a space.

Cady Moore (59:14)
⁓ mhm.

Yeah, it's more relational.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (59:36)
Yeah, I think it is totally more relational. So that would be my bet. Go and find a queer hobby space, go there regularly, and practice just going up to people and flirting and getting Instagrams and making friends.

Cady Moore (59:53)
my gosh, you're telling you're telling us we got to do it in the wild but like it does feel so much safer. Like I was laughing at myself. I like, I don't know that I know how to flirt with girls and my partner pointed out was like, I watch you to do it all the time. I just don't think you know that you're doing it. And I'm like, okay, fair enough. Touche. ⁓ Any last minute advice? Anything else that you want to make sure folks take away before we get into our sillies?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (59:57)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Ooh, in terms of queer dating. ⁓ I think so many people are like nervous about coming across as like creepy or like mimicking negative flirting experiences they've had with men. And to that, I will just like affirm that just the fact that you're thinking about this and like wanting to be caring and conscientious of the people you flirt with, you are already not doing what those creepy men that you don't want to replicate are doing.

Cady Moore (1:00:38)
Mm. Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:00:53)
Mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:00:54)
Like,

so long as you are, like, aware that this person might not be into it, their, you know, their body language, or they might say no, and it's like, if you, if you, you know, receive that information that you're gonna be like, okay, awesome, have a lovely day, keep it pushing. Flirt! Tell somebody that they look really pretty! Like, tell somebody that you're so glad you came out that night because you got to meet them. Like, like, you're...

Cady Moore (1:01:17)
⁓ my gosh. That would melt me. I'm just like, my God. It

Sharilyn (1:01:23)
Eva, you can't flirt with me like that. Stop.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:01:23)
Lake Towson.

Cady Moore (1:01:23)
would work.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:01:27)
someone that like

my god like I'm so obsessed with like dark hair like I'm actually like I can't form words right now.

Sharilyn (1:01:33)
Eva,

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:01:39)
Like, like sometimes it won't work, but oftentimes the worst case scenario is you're going to make somebody feel a little bit like flattered and like nice. And that's a nice thing to make people feel.

Cady Moore (1:01:48)
Honestly true So

so true so true and I think that there's also and this is something that we could totally tangent on but we're not going to I also think that there is more comfort and safety within queer spaces for like shooting your shot because like The the dating pool is so small that like exes are gonna be in the room like you're gonna see someone that you know or like you're gonna go on a date with someone and find out they know these other things and so like

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:02:06)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (1:02:18)
I think there is more comfort around shooting your shot, having someone say no, and knowing that y'all are just gonna keep moving in community together. It's fine. No one's feelings have to be hurt. No one has to be mad at each other. It's like, oh, wow, that was really sweet. I remember that girl. She hit on me one time. It just is what it is, and it's fine. You just gotta shoot your shot.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:02:26)
Yes.

Sharilyn (1:02:37)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:02:38)
Yeah!

⁓

Mm-hmm

Cady Moore (1:02:42)
Okay, so last thing before we transition, if you could send one message to your younger self, what would it be?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:02:51)
my gosh.

Cady Moore (1:02:53)
I know that's such a hard question.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:02:54)
I feel like, my gosh, this is so cheesy, but.

Cady Moore (1:02:58)
That's okay.

We love cheesy.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:03:01)
It's a cheesy question.

Sharilyn (1:03:01)
love cheese.

Cady Moore (1:03:04)
It's a cheesy question, like...

Sharilyn (1:03:05)
Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:03:05)
It's a cheesy

question, so I'm gonna give a cheesy answer. Like, I think honestly right now, just I would love to my younger self that like, the love that you long for, does exist. you don't have to, you don't have to like, I don't know, settle for, you know, not feeling like prioritized by your partner or settle for like, not being loved and like, adored as your full self,

Cady Moore (1:03:08)
Yeah!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:03:30)
Cosaphic love is magic and like it is out there and you're deserving of it.

Cady Moore (1:03:31)
Mm.

Sharilyn (1:03:38)
I love that. It's so true. Sapphic love is magic.

Cady Moore (1:03:38)
I love that so much.

Well, and I think that, and I think the idea of like, I have a little sticky note on my bulletin board in front of me that I don't even remember when I wrote it, but I think it was sometime in college. And it just says in all caps, you should be cherished because like I remember having to remind myself that all the time. Like the idea that like every person that you are in a relationship with should be cherishing you and vice versa.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:03:42)
It's true!

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (1:04:10)
⁓ And it's hard. So I love that. That's perfect and cheesy question cheesy answer all the good feelings ⁓ Okay, so we always close out the pod with a couple of silly questions And we know from your onboarding form that you are a fellow D&D nerd so Please can you tell us

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:04:11)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:04:18)
but it's so true.

Cady Moore (1:04:35)
If a D20 was a queer dating app, what would each number on the dice mean when you rolled it? So for those of you who don't know, a D20 is a 20-sided dice, and when you're playing D&D or any kind of role-playing game, when you roll the dice, the lower numbers usually mean that you totally beef it and you fail whatever check you're doing, and then a 20 is like, oh hell yeah, I totally crushed this. So we wanted to do all of the numbers.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:04:43)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (1:05:03)
But ⁓ so if this is queer dating and you roll a one, what does a one look like? What does a critical failure look like in queer dating?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:05:07)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:05:14)
Yes.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:05:16)
Damn.

Cady Moore (1:05:17)
Sharilyn, can feel free to answer too because you two are the creative geniuses here. I'm just the vessel.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:05:19)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:05:23)
ooooh yeah

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:05:25)
I feel

like the automat- okay, I feel like the like, haha answer is like, you flirted with a straight girl, but I don't think that's actually as like, devastating. I think the like, I think the nat one is like a toxic, like, queer situationship that'll ruin your life. I think that's the, that's the true nat one.

Cady Moore (1:05:33)
Yeah.

Sharilyn (1:05:44)
Absolutely. Yeah,

Cady Moore (1:05:46)
for sure

Sharilyn (1:05:48)
one for me would be like hitting on someone I find hot and it turns out they're like a hey mama's lesbian. ⁓ I feel like a 20, a crit ⁓ would be like not only do I like subtly flirt with them like ⁓ cute like I like that but they like full-on turn to me and are like you're so hot and look gay I want to date you like are you open to marriage? I'd be like ⁓

Crazy you asked all of that. That really was successful, wasn't it? Why yes. Did you know scissoring is real?

Cady Moore (1:06:20)
Can I take you home right now? Do you want to get in my Subaru? Let's

go. Let's hit it baby girl. So then I feel like maybe a five then is the like you hit on a straight girl.

Sharilyn (1:06:28)
what about you?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:06:36)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:06:35)
real. What does

an at 20 look like for you, Eva?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:06:39)
Ma, yeah, I feel like I was thinking about this. I don't actually want this in terms of like a flirting situation, but just thinking of my girlfriend, it's like, and then like, she's like, do you want to adopt a dog? That's the, that's the nice thing.

Sharilyn (1:06:53)
my god,

you're queer, I'm queer, cool. Let's move in in like a week and like adopt cats and dogs and like run a cafe. Amazing, I love that. Okay, ⁓ a cat-fay slash bookstore, come on now. That's so queer coded.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:07:02)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (1:07:06)
a cafe slash bookstore?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:07:09)
Yes! Everyone-

Cady Moore (1:07:12)
That's

my Nat20 is I find a girlfriend who wants to open a cat cafe bookstore and all of their books are sapphic romances and plants. But separate from the cats because the cats will destroy them.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:07:16)
Yes! ⁓

Sharilyn (1:07:22)
And plant store for you. Yeah. Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:07:29)
Okay,

book recommendation though, Can't Spell Treason Without Tea is like actually that, but it's like cozy fantasy. It's so good.

Sharilyn (1:07:37)
I love cozy

fantasy, stop. my God, I love that. ⁓ this other, yes. This other question I'm really excited about. ⁓ If you had to home brew a queer class archetype, what would it be? So for example, the Disaster Bi Bard, the Trans Masc Tank, the Femme Fatale Sorcerer What is like a class that you would really love to play that is like infused with queerness?

Cady Moore (1:07:40)
Yes! Okay. You one us has fight or die? Yes!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:07:42)
Mm-hmm.

I feel like I really want like a high femme barbarian who like who just like the eyeshadow is sharp and the wit is sharper and she's gonna absolutely fucking destroy you like this stiletto is coming off like whether this is like a trans woman or like a like a lesbian who is just like Yeah

Sharilyn (1:08:22)
Yes.

Super femme yes. I

fucking love that. In our D &D campaign, our friend Ali plays ⁓ a half-orc named Tamazora, and she is a barbarian, and she's a sex worker, and she's super hot, and she's also really bitchy, and I'm just like, if I met her in a bar, I would crumble. I would just be a puddle. Every time, ugh.

Cady Moore (1:08:35)
was just gonna bring up Tami

Everyone has a crush on Tami. Everyone. We

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:08:55)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (1:08:58)
all have a crush on Tami.

Sharilyn (1:08:59)
the

when she's like mean to one of my NPCs like I'm not even hurt I'm just like yeah yeah it's okay it's okay I love that yeah I would probably go for something as like a very femme queer person myself also probably like that I would probably go for like a hyper femme like gnome though because I'm like canonically short at 5'3 and like very femme but I'm like very busty and so

Cady Moore (1:09:05)
I just came a little bit

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:09:07)
Yeah.

Sharilyn (1:09:28)
This gnome would be like 50 % boobs, 50 % butt, the other pr- whatever is remainder is like eyelashes and like glitter. You know what I mean? Just like, just like a little like sparkle with tits just like bouncing around and like fucking slinging spells and all that. What about you Cady? Queer class archetype.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:09:37)
love that.

Cady Moore (1:09:47)
I am really feeling like a crunchy, outdoorsy druid who's just like... so... yeah. Who's just like so... she doesn't shop at REI anymore. Like, obviously not. Like, she gets her gear secondhand. Yeah. Yeah. Drives her Subaru around. Like, has a carabiner boomerang. Like... that's...

Sharilyn (1:09:54)
my god, yeah, granola druid

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:09:55)
Mm-mm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:10:00)
Yeah. No. She's on a lesbian commune in the woods.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:10:07)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:10:10)
Yeah

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:10:14)
Mm.

Sharilyn (1:10:15)
Carabiner boomerang.

Cady Moore (1:10:17)
That's who I'm picturing for sure. So, okay, and then last silly question. So if you were running a TTRPG, which for folks who don't know is a tabletop RPG, so something like Dungeons and Dragons, if you were running a TTRPG campaign that was also a queer coming of age story, what would the final boss battle be for the campaign?

Sharilyn (1:10:20)
That's fucking amazing.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:10:43)
Mm-hmm.

I think it would be something along the lines of like, if folks have seen Dimension 20's Fantasy High sophomore year, that's maybe a deep cut.

Sharilyn (1:10:59)
I

love Fantasy High, don't get me started. Don't even get me started on the new one yet. ⁓ sorry, continue. I can't, I can't.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:11:02)
Mm-hmm.

Cady Moore (1:11:04)
This is why when y'all suggested just Eva and

I do this episode, I was like, we can't do this without Sharilyn here because Sharilyn is the one who's gonna get all the TTRPG stuff. But what is Fantasy High? Is it literally like a Fantasy High school?

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:11:11)
You

Sharilyn (1:11:14)
I love that. Yes, okay.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:11:16)
It's.

Yes, it's literally and there's like so much gay stuff like one of the characters is like losing her religion finding out she's a lesbian like we have like a bisexual like rock star like it's it's it's Yes, there's there's also The Seven which is also Dimension 20 which is set in the same universe Which I feel like as we were describing the archetypes. I'm like we're just naming the different characters in The Seven

Sharilyn (1:11:34)
It's very clear coded.

Cady Moore (1:11:35)
I will be watching this 100%.

Sharilyn (1:11:47)
Yeah, that's all we're doing. Yeah, that's true. Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:11:51)
I'm like, those are all of them. But the

like, there is a similar battle in Fantasy High, which is the like, you kind of battling like versions of yourself, like, like your insecurities or like your like unhealed versions of yourself and you like have to, oh, that that's like, yeah, that would be what I was thinking.

Cady Moore (1:12:03)
Ugh.

⁓

Sharilyn (1:12:13)
Yeah.

Cady Moore (1:12:14)
my god, I love it so much! I love it.

Sharilyn (1:12:16)
I agree.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:12:17)
Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:12:18)
I feel like a really good one along those lines and the different versions of yourself. I feel like the last monster being some kind of mirror to the player character of shame. Like literally shame. Kind of like, I don't know how familiar how game y'all are on Wreck-it Ralph 2. But Wreck-it Ralph 2, there's a big monster at the end that's like this guilty conscious, like literally metabolized as this giant monster. And I just imagine for queers it's like

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:12:21)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yes

Mmmmm

Sharilyn (1:12:45)
it would be this big monster just like representing shame. Like almost akin to like with Marvel, like the void in one of the newer Marvel movies, Thunderbolts, it would be, it would be shame that they really have to conquer. And like part of that is like accepting it and like accepting that you've felt ashamed and like accepting the scary feeling that, you know, we're constantly trying to push away, but like when we invited in and like,

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:12:49)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:13:11)
pour it nice cup of coffee and like maybe talk

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:13:12)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sharilyn (1:13:14)
to it and sit with it a little while, it's not so scary and big, you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh,

Cady Moore (1:13:18)
my gosh, that just felt like a therapy session. I kid you not.

Sharilyn (1:13:22)
Anyway, sorry, this is why we can't talk about D &D on this podcast.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:13:26)
No!

It's beautiful! It's very important!

Cady Moore (1:13:28)
No, it's perfect! No, I think that's perfect. And I think that both of y'all, that was such a beautiful way to close out our conversation. ⁓ Eva, can you tell us where we can find you, plug yourself, ⁓ anything? You have our microphone and our captive audience, so anything that you would like to share before we say...

Sharilyn (1:13:31)
⁓

my goodness

Cady Moore (1:13:54)
Farewell for the day. ⁓ Yeah.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:13:58)
Yeah, so it's been such a joy being here. Yeah, me too. So I have my own podcast out in Bloom where I talk a lot about late bloomer topics, exploring, you know, identity, affirmation. So yeah, would recommend folks check out Out in Bloom.

Cady Moore (1:14:03)
Yeah, thank you so much. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Sharilyn (1:14:03)
We love hanging out with you.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:14:21)
Yeah, I also have a Late Bloomer Support Club community where we meet once a month on different topics and we have a Discord, so if you're looking for more community in your queerness, you can find us at Patreon. It's called the Late Bloomer Support Club.

Cady Moore (1:14:37)
Amazing! Eee, we love it so much!

Sharilyn (1:14:38)
Thank you so much! I'm

joining that Discord today. And I'm going in and I'm not forcing topics on D &D, I promise.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:14:40)
day.

Cady Moore (1:14:42)
TODAY!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:14:43)
Come

on down.

Cady Moore (1:14:46)
But I'm fine!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:14:46)
We have played D &D

with the group. There's like, we have a D &D channel in the Discord. Yeah.

Sharilyn (1:14:55)
If you guys

Cady Moore (1:14:55)
⁓

Sharilyn (1:14:55)
are looking

Cady Moore (1:14:55)
well... Solve.

Sharilyn (1:14:55)
for a DM, I'm starting up a queer campaign here in a couple months. So, ⁓ and it's on queer dragon riders. It's to be so fun. But thank you so much for sharing all of your knowledge with us and like, and, really helping, ⁓ kind of peel back some of the stigmas, some of the preconceived notions on late bloomers and the importance of queer sex ed. As we know, Cady is our resident.

Cady Moore (1:15:02)
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, hell yeah.

Sharilyn (1:15:24)
sex ed expert and I love bringing in, we love bringing in other people and other experts who get to talk about this stuff because it's so necessary.

Cady Moore (1:15:26)
He

Thank you so much for being with us today, Eva. You are amazing and everybody, we will include all of their information in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here and let's do it again because we have so much more D &D to talk about! Wee!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:15:32)
Hell yeah.

Sharilyn (1:15:43)
Yes!

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:15:43)
Absolutely. Yeah.

Sharilyn (1:15:45)
my gosh.

Eva Bloom (they/them) (1:15:47)
Yay.

Knee Deep In The Passenger ... (1:15:53)
Thank you so much for joining us today for our interview with Eva Bloom, our amazing queer sex educator and late bloomer support coach. We hope that you enjoyed the episode. If you liked what you heard, please give us a follow on Instagram @kneedeeppodcast or shoot us an email at kneedeeppodcastmailbag@gmail.com. You can use either of those platforms to send us your questions, comments, concerns, but if you have a concern, please be nice about it.

And don't forget to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. We'll see you in a couple of weeks.